#6 … if you check behind the shower curtain every time you enter the bathroom.

You’re not being paranoid. You’re being cautious.

And there isn’t anything wrong with that.

#5 … if you finish your test first, but wait for somebody else to turn theirs in.

Seemingly being the first person done with my test always set off a miniature panic attack. If I was done so soon, did that mean I didn’t think about the questions enough? That I was bound for failure?

It never was, but that didn’t stop me from “looking over my answers” until some brave person had the courage to turn their test in.

#4 … if you search everywhere for something only to realize you’re holding it. Or wearing it.

My personal favorite was when I was hysterical, wondering where my phone was… while I was talking on it.

I was drunk, sure, but is that really an excuse?

#3 … if you claim to be looking at someone’s pictures when you’re really just reading their text messages.

Chances are, if you have a reason to be suspicious of them, they’ve probably felt the same way about you and snooped through your phone.

The real question is whether or not to confront them about something you read without their knowledge.

#2 … if seeing how ugly their new significant other is brings you more joy than christmas morning.

Double points if you become their new best friend after the break up.

#1 … if you create a blog and forget about it a month later.

If you’ve ever had a successful blog in your life (or any, really), I can almost guarantee one thing:

It wasn’t your first one.

It happens all the time. Somebody gets a blog, and for the first week or two, they’re pretty gung-ho about it: updating it once a day (or multiple times a day), slaving over the perfect reader-friendly layout, compulsively checking the hit count, sometimes even going so far as to buy their own domain name right off the bat (not recommended). Then, the excitement wears off. By the end of the second month, they’re lucky if they can remember to update it once a week.

I guess this really makes out for an awkward, self-prophesying first post.

So… uh… welcome, guys.